This is the first in a five-part series from the Sara’s Secret and Condoms to Go Exclusive Event on August 21st entitled “Flirting & Foreplay”.  Each week I will dive deep into specific subtopics for more detailed information and resources.    

Flirting & Foreplay – 5 Ways to Create Allure & Attraction

  1. Preparation
  2. Determine Your Approach
  3. Love Language
  4. Curious Questions
  5. Seal the Deal

Preparation – 4 Things To Do Before You Leave The House

Bobby Unser said it best: “Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.”  Preparation is the foundation for anything we do.

Getting ready for a date or going out with your friends requires preparation for possible opportunities and a successful evening. 

Shower, shave, select your clothing, put on cologne or perfume, fix your hair, apply makeup – all these things make you feel good and look good.  But what else can you do to prepare?

#1 – “Set the Mood”
I love this comment by one of the attendees at the August event: “When you get ready to bake a cake, you need to pre-heat the oven first.”

From the moment you turn the oven on, you create an expectation of the results – an aromatic treat of delightful, yummy goodness.  Setting the mood for the evening is like pre-heating the oven.  It allows your body and brain to connect while creating anticipation and excitement.

Setting the Mood is an exercise in self-care which is reflected to everyone who sees you.  They recognize you have taken the time to invest in yourself and appreciate the results.

Consider adding the following to your preparation ritual:

Benwa Balls* have been used in various forms by women throughout human history.  Originally created by Japanese women, the slightest movement of the hips and thighs will produce a pleasant vibration.  Inserting these balls when preparing for an evening out will begin the mind and body connection generating a feeling of sensuality and enjoyment.  Remove them prior to leaving the house!

By masturbating prior to going out, this will take your mind off of physical desire helping you connect with others on an intellectual level. Research has shown that masturbating before an important event relieves anxiety, boosts morale and helps calm nerves and promotes self-awareness.  There are a variety of products* available depending on your personal preferences.

#2 – “The Big Secret”

Have you ever noticed a complete stranger that looked like they knew something no one else did?  It can be provocative to watch these people move through the room exuding sensuality and sexuality.  Want to know how to do it?

It’s easy…it’s known as “The BIG Secret” which gives you a sense of mystery and intrigue.  It’s that little thing you know that no one else does…until you decide to tell them. 

It can be subtle or bold.  It can be as simple as remembering what you did to prepare or it can be the thought of what you are carrying in your purse or your pocket.  “The BIG Secret” is about creating mystery translating into curiosity and attraction.

One of my favorite products is both subtle and bold:

The Vesper Vibrator is a simple yet elegant necklace.  The sleek design compliments any outfit and has the potential to turn heads and start conversations.  By wearing the Vesper, you immediately subscribe to “The BIG Secret” radiating intrigue and mystery.

#3 – “Confidence”

Self-confidence is the best outfit you can wear.  It’s not something you keep in the closet, it’s what you exude every day.  The most obvious way to determine confidence is pride in one’s appearance.

Three simple things to create confidence:

Invest time in yourself and in self-care
Select clothing that makes you look good AND feel good
Adopt the mindset of positive self-awareness

All of these combine to produce a very powerful attraction factor.

#4 – “Feel Good = Look Good”

When you feel good, you look good and when you look good, you feel good.  It’s just that simple.  Self-esteem, social skills and emotional well-being are all factors in the “good” cycle.  Giving yourself a break is also a part of this.  If you have plans on a day when you don’t feel as good as you normally do, take some extra time to care for yourself.  This will help you to get out of the “funk” that we sometimes get in.  Take a breather!

Just for fun, check out this article

Leveling Up: The Most Attractive Aspect of A Man (Isn’t Looks or Money)

Next Week:  #2 Determine Your Approach – “Experiment”
Not every move will work every time.  It helps to experiment with different techniques to determine your best options in different situations.  Up next week:

Subtle vs. Direct

Attracting Attention

Don’t Overthink

See you here next week or at an upcoming event.  If you have an event topic you would like to share, please let us know!

Anticipating Next Time,
Amy Jones

*Your Sara’s Secret & Condoms to Go team can help you choose the perfect products for your experience.

Upcoming Events:
September 11th – Dr. Marty Klein “Making Sex Better By Doing Less & Thinking Less”

September 25th – Amy Jones “Aphrodisiacs – Spark Arousal & Boost Pleasure for All 5 Senses”